The Madness of Wunderland

The Raid of Redwall Abbey (2)

For the second time Warlord Oda and his gang of inquisitors storm Redwall Abbey… but before that, something dark and inhumane happened.

Upon hearing that the rebel Aang and his two-thousand troops were trapped down at the Meechon Quarry by three-thousand of the Diamond Army troops, Warlord Oda marched another three-thousand troops over to join the Knight Jensen (Diamond) to quell the rebellion. However, the Queen had sent one of her Bishops, the Bishop Misha… who offered Oda a Jabberwocky summoning stone. Oda immediately pressed the proper runes and tossed the stone deep into the depth of the quarry.

Ten minutes later a huge dark shape fell from the heavens smashing into the quarry raining stone, dust, and debris everywhere. When the clouds of chaos finally subsided Oda and his retinue could see a huge bipedal bird like creature with two thick arms ending in claws destroying the rebel forces. The creature would spray acid from its mouth melting all who were unlucky enough to avoid the liquid death. The Jabberwocky grabbed the poor air bison, biting its head off, and spitting it into crowds of fleeing rebel troops. It stomped on both the boy in blue and girl in green in their feebles attempts at hurting the large avatar of evil. The creature continued its attack, drowning the girl in blue in a sea of acid, and finally grabbing hold of and gobbling down the little bald boy, Aang, the leader of the rebellion. After the battle the Jabberwocky flew off returning to whatever hell it lives in…leaving a pit of poisonous gas forever closing down the quarry for safe use.

After the massacre, Warlord Oda, taking three-thousand of the Diamond troopers, marched to Redwall Abbey to “investigate” a series of rumors that the mouslings there were heretical and were planning to betray the Queen. After countless hours of interrogating the mice, Warlord Oda declared that the mice were not heretics, at least not THIS TIME…. Instead though, Ferdinand, the Bard, engaged in certain activities with Annie and now the young woman is in love… taking away two fine roses from the nicely groomed mousling. Meanwhile, Jett, the rogue of the Abbey, has offered pertinent information on how to take out Dorothy, the Warden of the North. Likewise, Lara, the adventurous acheological mousling has offered information on more pages of the Necrophelianomicon to Annie…

When next we meet Warlord Oda and gang will assault Dorothy…and he henchmen and minions…

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Cracked Hard Boiled

Thirty years ago a young wizard by the name of Markus Shelley found an unusual egg on the morning of the summer equinox. This young egg was different than the eggs…it had eyes, and a mouth, and instead of eating youth Shelley decided to feed it and care for it like a pet. In time the egg grew. Arms and legs sprouted out and the young egg began to speak…“Papa! Papa! I am alive!” I It was so happy.

Over the next several years it became a big egg, healthy and strong, with a brilliant brain it learned much at Wizard Academy and thrived as a academic. The egg also gained a name, Humpty the Wise. As Humpty grew wiser it gained more and more prestige and influence over the lands. However, tragedy struck. On its twentieth birthday The wise mage Shelley passed away from a heart attack. Too much arcana at night they said. Too much studying was not good for his soul. Humpty was sad… and was taken in by the Red Knight.

Over the years Humpty became a wise adviser to the Red Knight. However, not completely overcoming the loss of Shelley, Humpty grew strange habits, like always wanting to propel himself higher and higher…sitting on walls. Humpty was agile, or so he thought, until alas he build a wall fifty feet high and sat upon it for all to see. See how high up he was? She how wise he was? The higher the wiser was his motto. However, tragedy struck.

On it’s 28th birthday Humpty Dumpty (as he was later named) had a great fall. All the Queens’ men and all the Queens’ horses couldn’t put poor Humpty back together again. Except for the Queens’ High Wizard. This man-thing knew many spells and rituals to return the dead. Summoning all his powers he was able to revive Humpty…but as a flesh golem… Humpty no longer spoke but he was able to moan noises. He was further enhanced with thick armor plating, claws of the finest castle metals, and a flame tube where once his well, were once another tube hung. More contraptions were added to Humpty making him into one of the deadliest warmachines in Wunderland.

Humpty the Rook was feared amongst all commoners. Stories of this beast rampaging against rebels and people who avoided paying taxes was fierce. Humpty was ravage through homes destroying livestock and children alike, gulping them down to fuel his rage. Humpty was mad because well, he was no longer able to speak his brilliant intellect, but instead could only communicate through violence, how frustrating. Fortunately though, the White Wizard came to visit the Red Knight and constructed a Peace Ring. This Ring granted Peace to Humpty as long as the bearer remained alive. The Red Knight was given the honor to help keep Humpty at peace, at least….and all was well. However, tragedy struck.

On Humpty’s thirtieth birthday the Red Knight was murdered in cold blood as he slept. The Peace Ring’s enchantment faded and Humpty was once again driven into madness. For thirty days and thirty nights Humpty pillaged the country side leaving a trail of death and destruction. Whatever he touched was engulfed by his rage… then, a band a brave heroes tracked Humpty down to a dark dank yet slightly warm an moist cave… deep within did Humpty sleep during the day.

Warlord Oda and his retinue charged in shields and swords raised and defeated Humpty in combat…ending his pitiful life, snuffing out the once brilliant advisor to the realm. He became no more. The heroes you ask? Well, they were Warlord Oda, Warden of the South and Regent for the Realm of the Red Knight. Alice, the Violet Alice (formerly the Christmas Alice), Annis Hastur the Darkfyre Child, Max Arthos, he who can be ridden forever, Kiki Ukini, the Rainbow Disco Ball, and Lance BassArwen, the elf.
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Other notes…

- Warlord Oda is being blackmailed. 50,000gp must be deposited into the portal sack or Visions of the true murder of the Red Knight will be released before the Queen. Max Arthos is CLEARLY visible in slaying the most revered Red Knight.

- Rumors of rebellion and treason comes from Redwall Abbey. The animals there may betray the Queen soon. Oda and his team have been asked to investigate.

- The Diamond Army’s Generals have cornered the rebel forces led by Aang. They require the assistance of Warlord Oda to once and for all vanquish this pain in the Queen’s side.

- Rumors of a large crime synidicate has arisen from the Thousand Acre Woods. Warlord Oda and his rentinue have been asked to investigate. Baron Robins oversees the area.

- Rumors of the Green Dragon Synthynus’ approach abounds. A large army of reptiles and dragons approach…they are about a year off but are steadily making a run for Wunderland.

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A (Not So) Happy Ending for the Red Knight

With the retinue gathered at the court of the Red Knight, the Red Warden commands higher defenses for his city as the rebel forces led by the bald Aang continues to threaten the peace. Alice and Annie are commandeered and join the personal bodyguard of the Red Knight. Meanwhile Warlord Oda and Priest Lance are stationed with the Southern Club Army within the castle walls. However, the Red Warden has an eye for Max…Max Arthos, Voidlock.

Arthos complies and dons a pink bunny outfit, with tail, and a tutu… restricted with anti-magic restraints, he ventures deep into the love chambers of the Red Knight… where upon the festivities rise to an all new height.

Meanwhile, Oda organizes the rebel forces to assault the city yet slowly pulling back to draw the Diamond Army out reducing the overall forces within the city proper. As battle ensues the Red Knight is NOT to be disturbed as he continues his lancing practice on Max. Young, but not that young, Annie engages in her own form of entertainment as he sexually seduces nine of ten hedge wizards with her, err, well…yeah.

As the night continues, Max’s endurance slowly slips as within his mind he chants the protection incantations of his youth. His will is strong and thus far is able to outlast the stamina of the Red Knight, who has progressed to pony riding training upon Max. Annie continues her seduction as she entices and engulfs several guards patrolling the palace grounds. And as the rebel forces retreat into the country side luring well over the majority of the Diamond Army away, Warlord Oda strategically rescinds the Club Army back into the city on a witch hunt against the imaginary “Red Assassin”.

After five and a half hours of horseplay, the Red Knight is expended. Unable to finish with a spectacular critical end, he dismisses Max away. Max does not clean himself off, but instead rapidly dons his gear, returns to the love, I mean bed chambers, and deceives his ways to a sleeping Red Knight. With anger in his eyes and murder on his heart, and soreness in his rear, Max proceeds to silence the Knight’s elven man-eunich-servant and proceeds to summon what’s left of his mojo for an act of revenge and violence that will far exceed what the storybooks are willing to publish.

With the favor of the Captain of the Palace Guards, Oda storms into the court of the Red Knight to continue their search for the Red Assassin. Through coordination with Annie through young squire Sara, Oda times his entrance into the court right as Max begins is own assault on the Red Knight. With a chant and a rageful glare, Max summons an iron spike that explodes from the floor through the bedding impaling the Red Knight through his buttal orifice… immobilized the Red Knight can do nothing but shiver in pain as Max recites his one liner…which I forgot what it was.

Meanwhile, the doors to the private chambers of the Knight burst open as Warlord Oda, Lance, and the Captain of the Guard charge through along with over twenty elite guards and a Rook to confront the Palace Alice. The Violet Alice appears through a rear entrance and locks eye contact with her nemesis. Oda, in a dramatic motion of pointing, declares the Palace Alice a traitor…a spy broken of her loyalty to the Queen… and violence ensues.

Max Nether Grasps the Knight and continues to drain the life force from his most hated foe. Meanwhile, young Tyn appears from no where and backstabs the Knight in a moment where he’s caught with his pants…off? She then proceeds to rob the place blind.

The Palace Alice crouches, gathering her power and launches forth in a power charge…while Alice counter-charges both slamming each other hard knocking one another back to their original positions. The Court Guards begin to hack away at the Palace Alice with their swords. With adept skill they slowly chip away at her guard, blood splurts everywhere as the Palace Alice is overwhelmed. Annie appears, confused, and begins her onslaught of fiery death.

The Red Knight, helpless, is bisected, then behanded and beheaded. Tyn flees with goodies (Red Knights Sword, Armor, and Cloak), while Max teleports away with a fistful of rings (Golem control ring, Ring of Skeletal whatevers, and one ring up to lv20).

As the Palace Alice bursts her assailants away, walking out of a flaming wall, she is then charged by and pummeled by the hulking Rook…slamming her into and through the balcony door. Staggering, the Alice regains her stance… Oda orders his Alice out of the flames and into position… Now out of the flames, Alice refocuses…her eyes acquires and locks onto the Palace Alice eyes…hate grows thick between the two. Alice crouches down, powers up, and flies through the reception courtyard in a frenzied charge slamming into the Palace Alice cutting her deep with her Alice blade and throwing her through the balcony railings… As the Palace Alice plummets far far far below the Violet Alice follows through and jumps directly on her nemesis’ body…in a deathlock they accelerate faster and faster as the palace grounds rapidly rushes to meet them.

In an explosion of dust and dirt the palace grounds violently shake after the Alices fell over a hundred feet… as the dust cloud settles…the on lookers gaze upon an impact crater twenty feet in diameter. Standing tall and well is the Violet Alice, two hands on her blade aimed right at the throat of the Palace Alice, lying beaten, battered, and defeated below her. With a quick motion, the Palace Alice’s head is decapitated… blood geyers out of her neck launching the dead Alice’s head several yards into the bushes. In a guttural scream, the Violet Alice roars in victory.

Aftermath: 2 Months downtime.

Warlord Oda is named temporary Regent of the Domains of the Red Knight as chaos ensues upon news of the death of the Red Knight. The Red Assassin remains at large. Many squads of troops are sent to enforce martial law as they conduct door to door searches for treason and rebellion. The Rebel Army continues to harass the forces of the Red Queen, and the Humpty-DumptyStein goes on a wild rampage across the farmlands of the Red Domain.


Players, you must choose your next actions for the campaign.

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Welcome to your Adventure Log!
A blog for your campaign

Every campaign gets an Adventure Log, a blog for your adventures!

While the wiki is great for organizing your campaign world, it’s not the best way to chronicle your adventures. For that purpose, you need a blog!

The Adventure Log will allow you to chronologically order the happenings of your campaign. It serves as the record of what has passed. After each gaming session, come to the Adventure Log and write up what happened. In time, it will grow into a great story!

Best of all, each Adventure Log post is also a wiki page! You can link back and forth with your wiki, characters, and so forth as you wish.

One final tip: Before you jump in and try to write up the entire history for your campaign, take a deep breath. Rather than spending days writing and getting exhausted, I would suggest writing a quick “Story So Far” with only a summary. Then, get back to gaming! Grow your Adventure Log over time, rather than all at once.

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